Thursday, 24 April 2014

Beat Fleet Auditions

The Beat Fleet are like a street team that work for Beat 102 103 and so I thought I’d go along and have a bit of laugh with the auditionees, see if they were up to my tough standard. It went well and some of the people you hear on this report actually got the job! I put in a good word!

Eurovision 2014 - Portugal

Portugal have been entering a long long time and have never come close to winning. Let’s not lie, they aren’t going to be close to it this year either. What in the name of all that is holy is this crap? It’s like something you’d hear as the poolside entertainment on your Budget Travel fortnight in Albufeira. This is down near the bottom with the juries and rightly so. The song is Quero ser tua by Suzy and it’s about 20 years too late for the competition. Poor Suzy! I’m going to enjoy slagging her over the next few weeks!

Seen It All

Horse Fixing CarVan with roofTree in RoadParaglider caught on planeTrain in buildingDogsBears on roadBus in GlacierTruck on endStrange apartment buildingBridge doesn't joinBoulder on roadCaravan on raftHello Kitty CarDinosaurs in ice

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Blood Brothers

Blood Brothers is a play about brothers from Liverpool who fight over a women, at least that’s what I think it’s about. I spoke to the cast of the production that was on here in Waterford and this is what happened. They were a gas crowd!

Eurovision 2014 - Poland

I love this! It’s like a bit of fresh air in the Eurovision. It’s Donatan and Cleo with We Are Slavic. It’s the type of thing I’d have on my iPod. Actually, I don’t have an iPod. It’s not the usual type of Eurovision song so don’t know how well it’ll do. It’s the best that Poland have had in years. I can’t wait to see what it looks like live. I hope they have loads of girl dancers and have them all twerking! That’d be fun.

I really want this to do well although not sure how the juries will go. Think the public will like it more. Happy for Poland! Well done lads!


NOW! This is mad!

Big MusclesGiant FootprintsBull RunTrain bridgeBear attacks golfersGiant FishHuge sound systemGiant AnacondaPlane engine

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

The Estate

The Estate was a program on TV3 about a place in Waterford called Ballybeg and staring real people doing real things. Now Ballybeg wouldn’t be the most glamorous area in the city and is probably one of the most well known council estates in the country but we all got glued to Shauna, Dennis and all the rest of the cast! So much so that Shauna asked me over for tea! Have a listen!

Eurovision 2014 - Norway

This annoys me. Loads of people have been raving about it but I think it’s whingey and annoying. I hope he doesn’t even qualify although with all the pretentious crap with the judges, he will. Yawn.

The song is called Silent Storm and the artist is Carl Espen. Norway won a few years ago with Alexander Rybak (RIDE) and now here they are with this chap. People thought they were going to win last year but clearly they didn’t. I just don’t know how this is going to do in the voting. MEH! That’s what I think!

Although now in saying that, I wouldn’t mind listening to it on the radio.

Chinese Couple On Their Wedding Night

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring "My darring,"he whispers, "I know dis your firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want.You juss ask... so... whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her...  "You want...Garlic Chicken with steam vegtable? "

Monday, 21 April 2014


I’ve always dreamed of being a superhero! I thought I’d make a lovely X-Man although I’m not really sure about how I’d go about it. So with that in mind I thought I’d go out and about onto the streets to ask people if they were to be a superhero, who they’d be and what they’d be able to do!