I’m tryin’ to get rid of all the crap off me computer and keep findin’ these things so clearly I’ve decided that you should be readin’ them too. This was an interview for something or other. Don’t ask me what. Actually, if you know, send a postcard. A nice one with a beach on it.
1. Where did you wake up this morning?
Outside Ikea! Don’t ask me how. I’m not even a lesbian!
2. When were you last naked in front of another person?
About an hour ago when I got out of the shower and realised me ma had all the auldones from the road around to look at her new venitian blinds.
3. Who did you last receive a text from and what did it say?
Charmin askin’ me did I take her bra! The answer was obviously no as I’m a D cup and she’s an A!
4. If you were invisible for a day. What would be the first thing you’d do?
5. What do you dislike about yourself?
The fact that I don’t have Katryn Thomas’s job! I’d be amazin’ on No Frontiers.
6. When was the last time you cried?
I cry all the time! Especially at X Factor. And sometimes Total Wipeout.
7. What was the last lie you told?
Please see questions 1 to 6.
8. What’s been the most embarrassing moment of your life?
Anything to do with me bein’ seen talkin’ to Blaithnaid McGee!
9. Ever been chatted up by another Drag Queen?
See question 8.
10. Apart from your Car or Home, What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?
I steal most things. Eh does me pet Lesbeing count? She’s got me bankrupt!