Wednesday, 31 August 2011

I’m lovin Trollied!

Its a new programme that started a few weeks ago on Sky 1 and I’m lovin it so far. It’s about a group of people that work in a supermarket called Valco so it kinda reminds me of me days workin in the Spar. Kiaran the butcher is a RIDE! Have a look at it though and ya won’t be disappointed!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Holyhead is my latest holiday guide

Don’t even talk to me about this trip to Holyhead! Locked.com!! If anyone has any photos could they please send them to me!!! Not so much a holiday but still there’s a holiday guide. It’s gas.

Click the link to read it!

http://www.joannaryde.com/travel/Holyhead.html

Holyhead holiday guide

Memory Lane – Mixin songs for the telly!

When we did the All Ireland Talent Show, we had to choose very carefully what song we’d do for our big live performance so we thought and thought and thought and eventually came up with parody versions of Hard Knock Life to mix into Paparazzi to mix into Jai Ho and to end with Single Ladies but sadly faith, and record companies intervened. Beyonce, Lady Gaga and Disney said we couldn’t change their lyrics and so we went back to the drawin board and came up with what we performed (see the video!) the picture is of the CD we got to rehearse to. Dunno why I kept it but ah well.

All Ireland Talent Show

Monday, 29 August 2011

Wear Suncream – This weeks new Joanna video!

Here’s this weeks video. Great bit of advice for yiz! Joanna Ryde is always right! Spread it around and Subscribe on me YouTube!

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Our bomb threats at Waterford Pride

I wasn’t gonna blog this but sure Charmin did so I’m gonna do it too!

I’m involved in LGBT Pride here in Waterford (thats in South East Ireland in case you’re foreign) and we got 2 bomb threats in the week before the parade. Now as ya can imagine, we were a bit scared what with religious fanatics runnin around all over the place so we went the guards and were told they’d deal with it (turned out that they were lovely and really looked after us) ANYWAY, this fella who was threatenin us thought he was the second comin of Christ and wrote to Galway Pride 2 weeks after and we got hold of it. All a load of shite to be honest but sure that just proves what we’re up against! Even I can use spell check!

Galway Pride Parade Cancelled

I would like the county council of Galway and the Gay pride committee of Galway along with the gardai to hold an emergency meeting after they read this email and if the gay pride committee can give the gardai and council one good reason they have to be proud duirng the second coming then would you kindly ask them to respect God? Their in the wrong, their your streets, reclaim them....liase with Waterford council, last week the people took to the streets to cause traffic chaos at the pride parade...... You have received details that jesus is back and the Gay community need to respect it and Ireland. 60 souls were lost in waterford last weekend who defied him....he doesnt want to lose any in Galway and its up to your christians too ensure it.

The Waterford LGBT pride parade which took place today Saturday August 6th 2011 in Waterford city will more than likely go down in world history as the most unforgettable event the homosexual community has ever organised. The 2 floats consisted of some confused men dressed in womans clothes that go by the name Drag Queen but their floats drove so fast to avoid the public glare and anger that these Transgendered persons spent more time holding onto their wigs lest they fall off than actually doing anything remotely entertaining or to be proud of.

There were approximately 40 or so proud marchers behind these floats but these proud souls hid underneath a large rainblow flag which they carried over their heads. The small almost unnoticeable gathering was flanked by several Gardai cars and was over within 15 minutes of its sad commencement. To end an already miserable parade a large black cloud appeared coupled with rain at the end of the parade to ensure a quick dispersal of the proud homosexual community. No doubt the Gay community will hail it a success……roll on Gay Pride 2012, can’t be any worse.

Many thanks to all the people of Waterford and surrounding counties that took to the street in their cars which forced the parade to move all that quicker and many more thanks to those who downloaded this free of charge -------------- make no mistake about it, what you witnessed in that parade today is the children of darkness with the marking of the beast 666

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Hello from Turkey!

This is Joanna Ryde reportin live from Kusadasi in Turkey where I’m on holiday! Havin a great time here! The weather is lovely and we made friends wit a man called Michael who's owns a restaurant called Daisy! They won't let us bring food into the hotel so we're plannin some form of a protest tomorrow!

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Me new video!

True to me promise, here’s this weeks video!! It’s about food which is a nice change from drink which is what me videos are usually about!

Spread it around and enjoy!

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Memory Lane – All Ireland Talent Show Cards

When I was on the All Ireland Talent Show back in January 2010, meself and the Lads had a really great production team especially Kate, Lucy, Sharon and Phillip who all made us feel really welcome and tried to calm me down when I threw a strop over Lady Gaga and Beyonce refusin to let me use parody versions of their songs (true story!) Anyway, these are little cards we got off the crew. Clearly I kept them to remind me of how amazin the production team were! By the way, notice they called Giles Patrick on one of them! hahaha

All Ireland Talent Show All Ireland Talent Show Joanna Ryde

Project Mosney!

Back a few years ago I thought it would be great to start a campaign to bring back Mosney!! Sadly legal stuff meant we had to stop but its always been a dream of mine to see it returned to its former glory!!! Perhaps one day it will. Here’s me chairpersons speech from when we started the campaign.

Howayiz all. My name is Joanna Ryde and I'm the chairwoman of Project Mosney. Yiz might recognise me from such things as Gaffs and the time I was on a tractor on the Podge and Rodge show. I thought it was time to use me influence in the community to do something good for the people of Ireland.

For many a year when I was a youngone, we'd go to Mosney of a summer and stay in the chalets! I remember it well. Half of Finglas would be there the whit weekend and ya'd never want it to end! Back in them days it was always sunny, or at least ya'd think it was, wearin' your little flowery tops and your little shorts and the matchin' sandals what ya thought ya were only mafis in! Ya’d get up in the mornin' early and ya'd get ready and ya'd be standin' outside the fairground waitin' for it to open and then as soon as it did ya'd run to your favourite ride be it the Tempest or the Space Round-up or the Waltzers!! And d'ya remember the little ladybugs?? Or the trains what'd go round by the lake? And ya thought you were only the business when ya were old enough to go on the go-karts!

Then there was Funtropica! And the mushrooms and Coca-Cola slide what became the Pepsi Max slide and the little green islands down that end of the pool! And the locker rooms and then on one side downstairs ya had the Kozy Kitchen and the other was Don Lowries where all the mas and das would go for a drink! And ya could flash your bits either at the people in Don Lowries or out at the people in the street!

And then at night ya'd go to the ballroom with your packet of Tayto and your 2 litre bottle of TK red lemonade what your ma bought for ya to share with the other childer. And then ya'd go back to your chalet and ya'd wanna stay awake even though you were wrecked and ya'd be fightin' it and then ya'd just be out cold!

They were the days weren’t they? I mean d'ya know anyone who didn't have a good holiday there? And now look at it? Well I'm here to make a stand! I'm here to tell the people what own Mosney that we want our holiday centre back! We'll make it what it used to be. Forget your Santa Ponsas and your Playa del Ingli, what the Irish people want is good old fashion fun on their doorsteps and sure the road past Mosney is only the business now!

So who's with me?? Who's ready to fight to make their childhood memories come back to life? Who wants to go on the dragon slide one more time?

The revolution is comin'. Will you be part of it?

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

It’s been a while since we had some Adiemus

Here’s a Russian Ballerina dancin to the song voted number 1 by blog readers (Ray and Amanda were the only ones to vote)

Memory Lane – 3355

all ireland talent show audition

What does it mean I hear yiz ask (actually I don’t coz me hearin isn’t that great. Do I look like an X-Man to you? Work with me here) Well the video below will reveal the answer. This sticker was stuck to the wall in the dressin room in Dignity Kilkenny for a while but now that its closed, it’s on my JoJo wall in me gaff! (In case ya haven’t guessed, it’s my audition number for the All Ireland Talent Show!)

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

The latest holiday guide is Playa Del Ingles

Well this is an interestin one coz this holiday has a gaffs video to go with it! I’ve put that in below but go and read about Playa Del Ingles first!

http://www.joannaryde.com/travel/playadelingles.html

Playa Del Ingles holiday guide

“How do you pronounce your name Le-a?”

This is gas on a number of levels! This girls name is Le-a and turns out her name is Ledasha! LOL. She’s from LA! Course she is!

(thanks Diva)

Ledasha le-a

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Someone wrote a song for their dead cat!

This scares me! I have no words really. Just watch.

Me new music video!

I’ve been promisin one for a while but what yiz don’t know is that I’ve been busy workin on LOADS of new material and I’m now hopin to upload a brand new music video to YouTube every single week until the book launch in November!! Yiz will be spoilt! I’m always welcome to ideas by the way so get in touch if you have any! And make sure yiz spread this around and SUBSCRIBE on the YouTube. God bless!

Saturday, 13 August 2011

I was in a poem last night at Mr Gay Tipperary

I went to Mr Gay Tipperary last night coz I like supportin local events (and when ya live in the South East, Clonmel is local) Anyway, I was a little taken aback (boom boom) durin the talent round when one of the contestants Thomas Ryan mentioned me in his poem! It made me night. Here it is in full!

A good morning to a wonderful Tipperary and a good morning to beloved home land of √Čireann. On the green plains I wonder with Joy Spirit and Peace to the times of great summer that once had heat.

We roam from town to town from Cork to Kerry to the shaded shawl of Galway and a prayer in Knock off to Donegal we head to hear a tune or two and Mary (I mean Marvin the sexy guy from Dunlow). The hills of Antrim and Tyrone where I met Sam and over to Belfast for Pride Parade a city we all know well.

A rest in Down and over to Derry who knew I met a man (wait it was once a woman her name was Kerry).

Roscommon Sligo Limerick and Mayo we have the cream but I never married Marvin from Dunlow.

Pop into Dublin for a game of hurling and not a sight of Croker to be seen the Phoenix Park was wonderful that site the president had never seen.

Off to Waterford we did roam and Dignity in our sight where I saw Joanna Ryde looking lovely so neat and bright we danced the night away only to end up on stage doing a number from Glee.

On the stage I remained to listen to the song of Don't Cry for me Argentina by the ever fabulous Dee.

At last the trip was over back to Tipp to see some sexy guys shake their hips too see L.G.B.T. live and well. Tipp our native land and Clonmel where I went to see Saint Patrick and a peck on the cheek in the holy blessed well.

Friday, 12 August 2011

New Sugababes song!

I like it! What do yiz think about it?? Its gonna be a grower, I can tell! I know a few lads like that!

Ya have to click the link to see it!

http://www.vevo.com/watch/sugababes/freedom/GB1101100334

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Thomas can’t think of a title!

This is actually GAS!!! Thomas is a chap from Dublin who decided to start makin video diaries and put them on YouTube and I’ve decided to follow him to see what he’s up to. I got a great laugh out of this one. This chap is gonna be a star!

Help Lamph pick their next song

As some of yiz may know, and those of you who don’t are about to find out, Lamph are a local band here in Waterford who’s lead singer is the one and only DJ Chloe who some of yiz will know as the queen of Eurovision in Dignity. They’re gonna be recordin a new song for 2012 and want you to choose which one! Just go onto their YouTube page and pick one. I chose number 3 on condition that it starts with an icecream truck jingle!

Man fails in hot air balloon tightrope attempt

Its not so much the fallin that made me laugh in this as much as the tryin to get back onto the rope. He doesn’t look one bit impressed. I wonder did his big stick hit anyone below coz that would have been GAS!!!! You’re gonna have to click on the link to take ya to RTE to see it!

Story about a man falling off a very high tightrope

The next holiday guide is Edinburgh!

Here’s the latest of me holiday guide all about Edinburgh! Yiz know the deal by now, go to me website and read it! God bless

http://www.joannaryde.com/travel/edinburgh

Edinburgh holiday guide

Monday, 8 August 2011

Adrian Kennedy’s Stalker

Anyone who’s from Dublin will know of Adrian Kennedy, famous for doin the night time talk show on FM104. Sure when I was a youngone back in school we used to listen to him every night but this video caught me by surprise a bit! Turns out he has a bit of stalker on his hands! Have a listen. It’s weird.

Albufeira is me latest holiday guide!

Ya can’t beat a package holiday! There’s nothin like the rep tellin ya all about wherever it is you’re goin on a bus thats too warm with people ya don’t know yet but will in a few days when you’re in the hotel bar doin Mamma Mia with them on the karaoke. Albufeira is all that and more. At least it was when I went.

Albufeira holiday guide

Memory Lane - QueerID January 2006

Ah now this takes me back! It was a cold night in January in the Centre Stage Cafe, a little place on Parliament Street across from the Front Lounge and all the gang on QueerID.com decided to meet up for a few drinks and go mad, which is exactly what happened. It was the start of a very crazy few months!

QueerID forum

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Waterford Pride was great fun!

Sorry about the lack of a blog the last few days but I’ve been up to me eyeballs in Pride stuff! Needless to say I loved every minute of it and felt proud to be a Waterfordian! Love must go to Shaz O’Rourke for bein an AMAZIN chairperson and to everyone who came and supported it! Here’s a pic of me on the float with the Wanna Bees! Ya can see Leanne, Diva, Cliodhna and Paul here. (Thanks to James for the picture)

Waterford Pride festival

Waterford Pride parade

Friday, 5 August 2011

First picture of Catwoman from the Dark Knight Rises

Clearly I’m real upset at not bein asked to play Catwoman but check out the picture of Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle in the Dark Knight Rises! I LOVE BATMAN! Wonder if she’ll be as good a Catwoman as Michelle Pfeiffer was in Batman returns? Me Aunt Mavis could be better than Halle Berry! Dyin to see this film. When’s it out?

Anne Hathaway Selina Kyle Catwoman

I’ve decided this is what I’ll be doing today!

Yes it’s my very own parody of Rebecca Black’s FRIDAY! What a song!! LOVE HER! Which seat should I take?

Jedward jumping around a hotel room half naked!

Well followin yesterday’s pic of Jedward on a normal day, this video was sent to me (Thanks Kylie O’Reilly) of Jedward jumpin around a hotel room half naked. I’m guessin their management team had no idea about it coz it’s not exactly a great idea from a marketin perspective (I just Googled that!) and let’s not lie, they’re not all that attractive seein them in all their milky white goodness. By the way, I dunno if this is just one of them or both of them. I can’t tell them apart. One of them should dye their hair black or something!

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Jedward on a normal day!

This is just the cutest thing isn’t it. When the lads aren’t runnin around bein mad, this is what they look like! They look wrecked god love them but so would you if you were jettin off all over the world, although let’s not lie, I wouldn’t mind it! If anyone would like to offer. The jettin off all over the world that is, not Jedward, although I wouldn’t mind them hosed down and sent to my dressin room! If I had one!

Jedward with normal hair

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Paul Daniels injured by a pizza!

Good lovin jesus!!!

From Sky News

Veteren TV magician Paul Daniels has admitted needing medical treatment after being hit in the face with a pizza thrown by Sooty, the puppet!

The 73-year-old was filming a scene for the new series of ITV's The Sooty Show when the wayward snack struck him harder than expected on the head.

The incident was witnessed by a shocked Sweep.

But Daniels attempted to play down reports of the incident when he spoke to Sky News.

He said he had driven himself to a "village hospital" after his eye began to sting but was given the all clear after receiving an eye drop.

"It was over a month ago," he said. "I wasn't hospitalised by Sooty, there was a slapstick scene, I got pizza in my eye.

"It stung so on the way home that evening I called into a local wonderful village hospital.

"A nurse said, 'Oh no that's all right'...

"That was it it was all over, she put a little drop in my eye, it did sting for about a minute, and then gone."

Co-star Richard Cadell, who had been operating Sooty the puppet, was devastated after throwing the pizza much softer in the first take.

He told Sky News: "Paul turned round and said 'Come on Sooty, give it some welly!', so I did. The second throw hit him hard.

"Debbie (McGee, Paul's wife and assistant) laughed when it hit him but soon realised he'd been hurt.

"Paul was a childhood hero of mine so you can imagine how I felt."

Daniels - who is performing at his year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival - later denied asking for the pizza to be thrown harder when speaking to Sky News.

He also denied appearing dazed, saying this was his "normal walking state".

The offending scene can be viewed when The Sooty Show returns to ITV in September.

Paul Daniels is struck by a pizza thrown by the puppet Sooty

Memory Lane – Cork Rebel Awards

I’ve found a few things from over the years so I’ll start postin them in this new section which I’m goin to call Memory Lane although Memory Lane sounds like it could be an actual place, probably in Limerick.

This first one is from the Rebel Awards in Cork in 2009 where I won the Rebel Award for honorary Corkonian which was nice. Here’s the invitation and a video of me winnin.

Cork Rebel Awards

Monday, 1 August 2011

Paris is the next city in me holiday guides!

Ah Paris! The city of love! I went with an ex and didn’t really enjoy it coz he had an allergic reaction to spendin money. It’s my latest holiday guide Clearly it’s well worth a read! So read it!

Click here to read about Paris!

Paris holiday guide